You're going to go see a movie, not read a book. Two different things...

It’s a great movie, off the beaten path of what’s put out these days and a cute lead to boot. If you’ve never read the book, you’ll enjoy the movie. If you have read the book, you’ll complain about how it doesn’t live up to it, or is completely different, or how they kept this or that out of it. Well, it’s a movie based off the book, no one advertised that it was going to be page for frame adaptation of the book. So just enjoy the fact you watched a decent movie compared to the other garbage that is out and know that you’re lucky enough to know more of the story than the average viewer of the movie who hasn’t read the book.

4.5 out of 5 – See it, you’ll enjoy it, the ladies (cause it’s a bad ass hot lady kicking ass) and the guys (cause it’s a bad ass hot lady kicking ass) will all enjoy this movie film. Also, if you like it, go out and rent/buy/watch Battle Royal (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0266308/), the first one, not the sequel (cause it sucked and I didn’t even watch the second part of the pirated copy… that’s how bad it was).

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1392170/

Also, I do have to share a quote from a friend of mine that I thought was brilliant, Dan T. “Hunger Games was pretty awesome, but I kept trying to combine Peeta and Katniss into one name. Go Team Peeniss.”

The Internet/Facebook Statuseses the week The Hunger Games was out

More like "Princess of Mars" who's John Carter?

I’m going to say that this film would have been better without the Disney cartoon like alien creatures and everyone speaking British, cause, you know, long ago, Britain colonized Mars and like, forgot about it, but everybody there speaks with a British accent… I digress. As a great comic artist friend of mine (ya, facebook friends, but we’re friends in real life… I hope he at least considers it so… *tear*) suggested the movie should have been called “Princess of Mars” or something along those lines, and I must agree with him, that would have given people a good damn idea of what to expect in this movie. Anyways, the story flowed well, there was plenty of action, and kick ass action to boot that made me wish I could go back in time and then be able to go to Mars and be a bad ass… And the action was spread throughout the movie without any long stupid scenes that are supposed to give emotion or try and show us something special about a certain character. No, the movie was well done, had good development and follow through, kept you guessing and wasn’t predicable.

4.8 out of 5 – See it, more so a guy movie, but I guess if you got a chick who likes action movies (than *high five for you* and hey chick, you should dump that zero and get with this guy *thumbs pointed at myself*) or a chick who likes to look at some guy without his shirt on the whole movie, then you both will dig it. The CGI is great, and if you see it in 3D, it’s well done and not crap like some other none all CGI based movies tend to be with a large portion of the movie not actually in 3D and you’re just wearing glasses to make everything a tad bit darker…

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0401729/

How reboots should be made

I gotta say, I wasn’t expecting it to be actually laugh out loud funny, but I was surprisingly… surprised. The dialog was sharp, witty and also included physical comedy as well. The bathroom scene made me actually laugh out loud (I refuse to abbreviate… internet…). If you’ve seen any of the old series, you will be in for a treat. Also I love the fact that [insert actor’s real name when I have internet again] the guy who plays Ron Swanson on Parks and Recreation is in it and is pure gold in the limited scenes he’s in. Also, I enjoyed the fact that Ice Cube didn’t over shadow this movie… cause I’m not racist or anything, but he gave just enough to want to see his character again and each performance was great. The entire film just leaves you feeling good from the amount of times you laughed. Also, if you can go see this movie not sober, than it’ll make it all the better.

4.8 out of 5 – See it, if you have any sense of humor you will laugh out loud. If you’ve seen the old series, you’ll love the little extras meant for old fans. Go see it if you’re looking for a good laugh.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1232829/

Wowza, seriously good head-spin with this movie

Nicholas Cage (shut it, I like him as an actor and crazy man… I mean, seriously, take a look at this video tell me he’s not a crazy bad ass) and Nichole Kidman (hey, you’re still alive) in a movie… straight to Blu-ray… or DVD for some of you poor peoples… or peoples without crippling credit card debt (me)… How? Aren’t these guys famous Hollywood actors? Why don’t I remember this being in theaters? Cause I gotta tell you, whatever ill comments you might have against these actors or think they’ve kinda gone sour… Let me tell you, this was a damn good movie. No one was full of themselves and they worked back and forth without anybody stealing the show. Not predicable, kept turning me around and thinking one thing and *BAM* it just slapped you in the ass and ran into your bedroom naked and locked the door behind it… what’s it gonna do now? WHAT’S IT GONNA DO NOW!? *ahem* Ya, so surprisingly good movie for the out of nowhereness of it all.

4.6 out of 5 – See it, rent it, Netflix it, or find it wherever you can find it. If you have any interest in dramatic thrillers, this is a great movie that is hard to predict. All puzzle pieces are put out in front of you, and you try and put them together, but notice only too late that you ended up accidently jamming one probe-y piece into another piece’s hole that actually doesn’t fit quite right (kinda reminds me of my last sexual experience…)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1674784/

Has nothing to do with Spy VS Spy but a great rom-com, romedy or whatever you call it

Whoa, I gotta say, and be damned who makes fun of me for this, but I really enjoyed this movie. Not only did I laugh out loud (which I rarely do in movies), the story wasn’t too generic that I felt like I could predict everything outright and the characters were really likeable. Tom Hardy and Chris Pine had some witty back and forth banter that usually isn’t found in the usual rom-com Hollywood spits out these days and Reese Witherspoon was a doll. Honestly, I never really cared for Reese Witherspoon but this movie made me hot for her, or at least her character. Again, witty, funny, and damn sexy. So ya, I’d definitely recommend seeing this movie. And make fun of me all you want, but I wasn’t exactly sober for this movie so perhaps that helped the experience, but I ended up seeing Safe House right afterward and that just put a bad taste in my mouth and wish I just ended up not wasting my time with that garbage.

4.5 out of 5 – See it, you’ll enjoy it, the ladies (cause it’s a rom-com where the chick pretty much has two hot guys going after her) and the guys (cause you can drool over Reese Witherspoon and enjoy the action) will all enjoy this movie film.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1596350/

Oscar worthy... if the oscars weren't so corrupt these days

If you’re expecting JCVD to be an action film, you’re in for a bit of a surprise. The only action is within the first few minutes of the movie, and the rest of it takes place mostly in a held up post office. I was never a huge fan of JCVD, but I did enjoy his movies and after seeing this one, I have a new respect for the man. JCVD shows some real acting abilities in this movie, and more so than the crap action movies he’s been forced to do recently… but I will say that I really enjoyed Knock Off with Rob Schneider and JCVD (ya, seriously, they were in a movie together… an action movie). After seeing this well directed and acted movie, by all the supporting actors as well, I’d really like to see JCVD do some more serious/action movies, hmm, this is a bit odd but, I dunno, something suitable to his intelligence than the generic Hollywood $5 budget action movies that old action movie stars have to do these days. Also, Steven Seagal… really… who the hell actually likes this guy… besides making fun of him and his brain dead movies…. Sorry for ripping on Mr. Seagal over here, but honestly… can you take him serious after watching his music video:

Steven Seagal? More like Steven should be drowned in the sea and fed to gals

4.3 out of 5 – Great movie and departure from some action movie star not having any soul in the film. I’ve always liked JCVD, but after this movie, I love him… and there was like barely any action in it.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1130988/

As an added bonus, here are some pictures to prove JCVD’s superiorness:

JVCD is the real cause of tsunamis

He gets boners on TV and no one will make fun of it because he has the ability to kick people’s heads off.

But if you do see his penis, it is a marvel.

And I mean, come on… look how adorable he is:

Daawwwwwwww

Stop reading and go see it already!

I honestly cannot say enough good things about this movie. Course being an avid animal lover, I kept fantasizing about how awesome it would be to be the main character and have a Stich (from Lelo and Stich) looking dragon as a companion and ass kicking partner in crime. I recently was able to watch this movie in 3D and I gotta say, CGI movies in 3D are an incredible experience. In any case, the story was great, the characters were loveable, and the Viking culture and jokes were humors as well. Again, if you haven’t seen it, I’d highly recommend it. I’m super looking forward to the second movie coming out in 2014.

5.0 out of 5.0 – See it. I mean, what are you waiting for, stop reading, get off your ass, or mobile cellular smartphone device and go and see this amazing magical movie. Then un-patiently wait for the second movie to be released… maybe even get a tattoo of your favorite character… I won’t lie, I’ve had the idea cross my mind of getting a tattoo of the main dragon…

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0892769/

2.0 out of 5 – If you like Denzel Washington, then go for it, if you like generic action movies, then you’ll enjoy this… If you like originality and not eating the same food for every meal for a week straight then you won’t like this movie. But Ryan Reynolds is in it… and he’s pretty hunky and funny, soooo, ya, meh, only reason I ended up staying.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1599348/

I get it. Christmas movies have to be made but what blows about this piece is its complete lack of respect for its audience. The trailer opens up with familiar jokes and dynamics between Ben Stiller and Robert Di Nero’s characters. “I’m watching you,” sort of thing. This isn’t new. After seemingly a moment after the trailer has started, it launches into a titling of all of the “big name” stars in Little Fockers. That takes up a full 10 seconds. Talk about a realization that it’s going to take stars to get people into the seats for this one. The trailer relies on names, potty humor gags and recognition that there were two movies about these characters before (granted, I liked the first two alright).

No real plot is revealing in this trailer, leaving anyone who actually gives a damn wondering, why the fuck am I getting out of this besides a ton of cameras and the same interactions we’ve already seen before?

Bottom Line:

I imagine this would be a good one for the kids. If the trailer is any representation, this movie is a shitty friend. The guy who will do anything to please you. He’ll tell the same jokes over and over because you laughed at them once, and he’ll name drop like it’s hot. He’s shallow, uninteresting and superbly easy to read. Kids love him.

I wouldn’t rent this to support AIDS research.

Washed up movie stars (though I did expect better from John Malkovich) playing washed up secret agents. Didn’t they just make this movie? Didn’t Bruce Willis JUST make this movie? Oh yeah…

Bruce Willis is a cool guy. He’s starred in some of my favorite movies like The Fifth Element, 12 Monkeys, Sin City, Pulp Fiction and those Die Hard movies weren’t terrible. John Malkovich is a fine actor too. I loved him in Being John Malkovich and probably something else. It seems that due to the economic downturn, actors will star in anything to stay afloat, even the same movie, twice in a row.

The RED trailer plays out as expected. I could predict what was going to happen about two minutes in. Bruce and Johnny band together to fight the government for their lives. Action/comedy ensues. This trailer is formulaic, unfunny, and doesn’t even offer any decent action. There’s really nothing to say about this at all.

Bottom Line:

Nope.