Surrogates (2009)

Hello pretty lady with peely face. Whoa what’s that stupid robotic voice that’s trying to sound cool? Oh it’s just the narrator. Continue…Holy shitballz is that a terminator at :17? Is this terminator 6? Okay, okay.

This narrator is a little off but at least it makes the setting painfully obvious. Some trailers fail to do that, and while this isn’t the most tactful presentation of the facts, that the facts are presented allows me to overlook it – or maybe its just seeing Bruce Willis in that Andy Dick wig.  Okay, :46 Second Life commentary, cool. Does this trailer actually have anything to say? Yes it does, you see “two people have died while connect to their surrogates.” Impossible! That robotic narrator didn’t mention anything about that!

All of a sudden we’re watch the trailer for Minority Report with robots.  And wait? Is THAT A FUCKING HELICOPTER? What’s the rule of trailers with helicopters, kids? If there’s a helicopter in the trailer it’s going to be a bad movie.  Double that chance if the helicopter crashes or explodes and you know what, this movie is rolling 6’s.

Without delving any further into this trailer, it’s clear that it offers an interesting idea. What if our internet lives were so real they were our lives. A killer then challenges the notion of that reality by killing these “virtual” people. Will this movie answer those deep seeded questions about reality? My Bruce Willis sense says yes, but my wig and exploding helicopter senses say no.

Bottom line:

Don’t pay for this one unless your surrogate date is a my size barbie. Rentworthy? Yeah, but I won’t watch this more than once.

Popularity: 6% [?]

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